BONUS: From Fashion Influencer to Seminary: When Your Quiet Time Becomes a Check-List with Monica Ritchie

Jen: Hey friends, welcome to this bonus episode of Good God Talks. I'm so excited to have my friend Monica on today as we talk about ways that God uses spiritual rhythms to deepen our relationships with Him. Monica has a new book out that I'm excited to tell you about too. It's called Fashioned by Faith. and I'll have links here in the show notes for all the places you can connect with her and get your copy of the book.

Monica is basically your friend who went to seminary and has a podcast, Theologically Fashioned. She's also an on-air radio host in the Twin Cities and loves reading C.S. Lewis in her free time. I know you're gonna enjoy today's conversation, so let's jump into that.

Jen: Well, Monica, I'm so excited that we get to have you on the podcast today. Thanks for coming on to talk about life with God and what He's been showing you through this new book that you've released into the world.

Monica: Yeah. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Jen: For any of my listeners who might not know you yet, can you start sharing anything you want about yourself, your life, and the heart behind this book?

Monica: Sure. So my name is Monica, and I live with my husband, and we have two teenage daughters. We are in the Twin Cities, Minneapolis, Minnesota. I started my Instagram as a fashion influencer. My undergrad is in retail merchandising, so that's how I started posting on social media. Quickly learned that Christian influencer was a thing, a niche, I joined Instagram, before the algorithm was the algorithm that we know today.

So I started seeing these Christian posts on social media. There's a lot to unpack there. We can dive into that if we wanna do that. But then I went to seminary, and I got a degree in Christian Thought from Bethel Sem. That's right here in St. Paul, Minnesota, and loved my experience at seminary.

But from that came this book, Fashioned by Faith, is what it's called, and it's spiritual disciplines. Or if you don't like the word discipline, because some people are like that's- that's too intense," rhythms. Spiritual rhythms or habits that- that can deepen your relationship with God.

Jen: Yeah. I love that, there's so many places I wanna go with that. You're talking about a breadth of your career in different areas. When did seminary get on the radar?

Monica: Yeah, so I started attending a large group Bible study when I was a new mom, And I talk about this in the book a little bit. So I did grow up in the, the Lutheran tradition, and if you're familiar at all with Minnesota or the Midwest, particularly Minnesota, though, we have a large Scandinavian population.

We've got a lot of Lutherans. If you've seen there's SNL skits about it, stuff like that. Anyways, I talk about that a little bit in the book but just my own wrestling with faith as a young adult. And at that point, I didn't know what seminary was. I had never heard of that.

I had no clue. So it was as a young adult then coming into this larger Bible study where I got a taste of how to study the Bible in depth. I was in leadership in that Bible study for a number of years, and so we were learning how to do that a little bit more thoroughly, a little bit deeper.

After a couple years of leadership that I, one, at that point learned what seminary was . But two was like, "Yeah, I want to go. I want to do this. I want to pursue this." And it happened pretty quickly, to be honest. It was one of those things that it was like- Go to seminary? Okay. And then the next day I signed up and went. I feel like me being as naive as I was actually a blessing to me. I didn't really research a lot of options. I knew Bethel. I had gone there for my undergrad, the two years of my undergrad. I had transferred out of that. But so I was familiar with Bethel. I was familiar with I don't know, that I could do it online. I was like, "Cool, I can do all this online." And I just signed up and went.

Jen: Yeah. I love it. You know it's the time for a thing, you jump in and do it.

Monica: Yeah. And I was just kinda determined in terms of this is what I feel like is the next right thing to do, and I'm gonna do it.

And my thought process was time is going to pass anyways, and so even if I just do one class at a time, that's fine. Nobody's tracking my progress. Nobody's like, putting me on a timeline. I can just do one class at a time. That's cool. Yeah.

Jen: A big thing I wanted to focus on in my listeners, my community getting to hear from you, is really understanding how this transformed your relationship with God personally. I think it's easy to understand kind of the, the academic,, the informed cultivation that happens in our faith [00:05:00] when we're going to seminary, when we're in classes and in discussions like this, which is valid, but is also intended to bring about a personal change.

And you talk about that as from black and white to color. Any pieces of this you wanna start with, but could you describe how you thought about God and your faith- before seminary, and then what God has done through the process of seminary to today.

Monica: Yeah. And I think this is a point of me being really naive.

Like, when I say that I was naive going in, when you do theology, when you learn more about who God is and who you are and who humanity is in relationship to Him it is risky. You do not know how God is going to transform you and change you, and that when you approach that with humility there can be some pretty big asks involved.

Yeah. And so when I say that I approached seminary with a pretty naive sense of self, that's what I mean by that. I often talk about in my seminary experience, so my first class was hermeneutics, and I loved it. If you don't know what hermeneutics is, it's just interpretation of the Bible. And we're learning some basic principles in this class. And I just felt Forgive me for my pride, okay? But I was like, "I am so good at this."

Because, again, in my young and naive self, I was like, "I'm a head person. This is how I connect with God, is through my head." And while there are parts of that that are true what I have come to better understand is We are fully embodied human beings. We are head, heart, mind, soul, strength, right?

And so my class following hermeneutics was spiritual formation, and when I got that syllabus, I thought, "This is gonna be so fluffy and so boring. This is not for me. I'm just gonna get through it." I've said this before, but as God does serves such large portions of humble pie.

Jen: He does. He's so great at that.

Monica: I was like, actually, God, you're right. You're right." It was through that class and to my teacher's credit, she had given us a spiritual discipline to practice at the beginning of the semester. She had given us a list of ones to choose from, and so we had chosen a spiritual practice.

I chose, it's called holding space or sacred space or something like that was the title of it at the time. And it's essentially where you go to God in prayer and I do enjoy prayer. That's a discipline I tend to gravitate towards. But asking God to just, surveying yourself, some self-reflection, and asking God, inviting him in in a slow process.

And it was through that, I started to feel myself, and I describe it as melting. Head and heart and flowing into one another, right? Because we are not [00:08:00] parceled out into, "Oh, my head is here and my heart is here." No, you are actually fully embodied, right? Yeah. And so sometimes, like when we engage in these practices, and that's why I chose to write about spiritual disciplines, because I think that when we start to become a more fully embodied being, we can then better reflect God's image back out into the world that He so loves.

Jen: And I love the visual of that, because it represents what He's doing in us, right? You talk about that as becoming a whole person, our whole selves. And I'm sure we'll come back to that, but before we get too far off the topic of prayer, I would love for you to talk about wandering prayer.

Monica: Yeah, so this is a practice that if you have the time to engage in it, and something that I really like to focus on in the book too, is that God is not surprised by your humanity, so lots of options if this isn't for you right now. So wandering prayer is this prayer practice where you can, maybe you sit down, maybe you lay on the floor, whatever that looks like for you, in a quiet space where you have some time, and you let your mind wander.

And at first, you are gonna go through your checklist of things to do. You are gonna go through, "I gotta pick up the kids. This is what I'm making for dinner. Did I remember to get toothpaste? Did I..." You are going to do those things. But be patient with yourself, be patient with God, and see what comes up.

If there's a situation or a circumstance or maybe a hurt and you thought, "I thought I was past that," or actually, I guess I didn't realize that was bothering me the way that it is," you can ask God to reveal some of those things to you, and then invite Him in to healing those situations, those circumstances whatever it is that He brings up for you.

I feel sometimes when we are praying, we try really hard to stick to our list, right? 'Cause we wanna be good prayers, and we wanna get it all right, and we wanna make sure we didn't forget to [00:10:00] pray for anyone or do these things, right? But maybe it's okay that we let our minds wander and ask God again.

Invite Him in to what that looks like as your mind starts to spin and wander.

Jen: Yeah. I love the freedom that gives us, too, because I know I can get down on myself, or at least I had to work through this in different seasons, where I'm like, "Oh, I shouldn't be distracted by my to-do list or the shopping list."

And so it almost becomes this interruption where I feel like I'm now not praying, when actually I can use that to be like, "God I'm frustrated about this," or, "Lord, thank you for that reminder," or, "God, thank you that I can go get my kids that I prayed for." It allows us to embody prayer as we go throughout the logistics, even, of a day, which is really freeing.

Monica: Yeah, and even I think about I've got a kiddo who is a verbal processor, and she will come chat with me about what her plans are for the day. Why? I love to hear from her. I love it. I don't want the short story. I want the long version of whatever she's got to say as her loving parent.

And I think God feels similarly to us. He doesn't need the short story. He's got plenty of time. Yeah.

Jen: That's true.

Monica: And so give Him the long version. It's okay. Yeah.

Jen: Yeah. And that touches on something, too. You and I are, are similar in our achiever selves and checklists and accomplishing things for life, for the Lord, for ourselves, all of that.

Yeah.

But I love how you also tie that into coming to the, to God with this awareness that you're already loved. And you can rely on God's love, you can rely on His goodness, which you talk about in the book, as not like you're trying to work toward achieving or receiving it. Can you talk a little bit about that journey for your relationship with the Lord?

Monica: Yeah, I think that, again, when you do theology and you study it from a place, I think, of humility. There's a lot to say in that. But for me, I had come more from a tradition that emphasized our sinner selves first. And right, I'm not denying sin when I say this, so please hear me there.

But you are first and foremost made in the image of God, and made from a place of love. And so when you start to really live out of that posture, it changes the way that you operate in everything. But most importantly, the way that you operate within your relationships with God and with others. And so when we take on these disciplines, these rhythms, these habits, we can continuously be reminded that they're not for love.

We're not doing them to earn love. God already loves you. We are doing this from the place that we're already loved, and we want to become and better image Christ, right? Back out into the world that He so loves. So we're doing that transformative process, right? Like the the mind, the heart, this is what we're doing it for.

And so I think that's a really important distinction so that we can better not do them for the checklist, do them for the algorithm, do them for something to post, do them for whatever kind of performance. Even if that performance is self-righteousness. And so it comes with a lot of freedom, when you let all of that other stuff go.

Jen: For the listener who's like I relate to all those struggles. I relate to the ladder, I relate to the checklist, I relate to feeling like I'm trying to achieve or even prove that I have earned or am doing a good job for the Lord." How would you encourage them, how would you encourage them to break out of that norm from what they have been experiencing?

Monica: First I wanna explain the ladder and the circle just a little bit. And so for me, I had felt in the, as though my spiritual practices, I feel because we live in this, this world and of optimization, right? We all wanna optimize, and I don't know about you, but like you said we're kind of achiever types.

I like to get an A. I like it. I just do. And so I wanted to be the best Christian girl that I could be, and what that involved was in participating in these practices, and a lot ... for me, might be different for somebody else, for me that was like head knowledge, right? So the more I learned the better I was, right?

And again, this takes a lot of humility and self-reflection. I don't feel excited to share that. It's like, ooh. But it's just the reality of the situation. And but we can all do that with all sorts of things, right? Oh, I've hit my daily quiet time every day this week, A+. Oh, I've hit my reading, Bible reading plan. I've stayed on track, A+. But God is not measuring you in that way.

When I'm talking about the ladder, that's what I'm talking about. Rather than engaging in these transformative practices to be a circle, to be a more whole and holy person. And so that's that difference in those things. And then remind me, what was the second part of the question?

Jen: Yeah, so for someone who's like, "I want the circle but I'm stuck on this ladder, how do I change this habit?"

Monica: I would encourage you to mix it up. Mix it up. Try something new. And here's the deal, you don't have to figure this out all by yourself. God is your covenantal partner. He wants a relationship with you, too, and He's super jazzed to help you He's super jazzed to help you find a practice that works for you.

Maybe it looks like trying a different method of prayer. Maybe it looks like participating in Sabbath in a different kind of way. Maybe it looks like even going to, and I talk about this in the book, too, going to a different denomination church service for you. Ask God, "Hey, I'm needing to get out of this routine.

Help me. Help me out. What does that look like?" And if I give a little checklist in the back of the book, too, if one of these practices are starting to feel obligatory or performative I give you some questions to reflect on that can help you process ah, maybe this isn't working right now, and we can mix it up a little bit.

It's really a huge part of the book. It is very practical, because I want you to have practical options for how you can embody and practice your faith.

Jen: Thank you for making it so practical. As we start growing in this awareness, then there's the logistics of it. Well, how, How do I change my approach? How do I try something new? Any closing thoughts that you'd like to share with our listeners?

Monica: I would just encourage, yeah, if you are feeling stuck in the latter, if you're feeling stuck in obligatory practices, don't be afraid to let things go. Don't be afraid to try new things. And I'm not saying to, set aside prayer for forever or set aside your Bible reading forever. But maybe you press pause on one way that you're practicing something so that you can pick up something else.

Because our seasons change, no two humans are alike and God wants to meet you right where you're at.

Jen: Friends, I hope this conversation with Monica Ritchie helped encourage and support your walks with God. As promised, I have links in the show notes for all the places you can connect with her and where you can get your copy of her book, Fashioned by Faith.

And if you've been encouraged by this content, please share it with a friend and help them grow in their conversational relationship with God too!

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