Episode #309 The Shame That Keeps Us Silent – Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Hey friends. Have you ever struggled with comparing yourself to others or feeling like you're just messing up more than other people are? Maybe even not wanting to go receive prayer or to confess a sin because you're embarrassed that you have that struggle? Well, if you relate to any of that, you're not alone. I can definitely relate to that too.

And that's what we're talking about today because confession is a gift. I didn't always know that. I have distinct memories of not wanting to go down front for prayer at church services because I didn't want people to know that I was struggling with something. I have memories of not wanting to confess a sin to someone I knew who loved me because I didn't want them to know I was struggling with it. And that's operating in less freedom and fullness of life than what God actually offers us.

In James 5:16 it says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Where sin can keep us in bondage, we can receive healing and freedom by confession, by receiving prayer from a fellow brother or sister in Christ.

Richard Foster, in his book Celebration of Discipline, is talking about confession in the context of healthy, safe community, which I think is important to note. He acknowledges that confession is difficult for us, but he says it's difficult because “We all too often view the believing community as a Fellowship of Saints before we see it as a Fellowship of Sinners.”

Now I wanna pause there for a second because it is a Fellowship of Saints, but it's a Fellowship of Saints because God has healed us. Because we're covered by the blood of Jesus. Because God has rescued us and purified us and made us new creations. And we are then walking out our true new creation identity in God as we're leaving behind the sinful ways we used to live.

So it is both a Fellowship of Sinners who've been rescued and redeemed and resurrected new by Jesus into a Fellowship of Saints.

And Foster goes on to talk about how, “We feel that everyone else has advanced so far into holiness that we are isolated and alone in our sin. We cannot bear to reveal our failures and shortcomings to others. We imagine that we are the only ones who have not stepped onto the high road to heaven. Therefore, we hide ourselves from one another and live in veiled lies and hypocrisy.”

I have known that heaviness, and that is not the fullness God offers for us. There is a much better, freer way that we get to live.

And Foster talks about that. He says, “But if we know that the people of God are first a fellowship of sinners, we are freed to hear the unconditional call of God’s love and to confess our needs openly before our brothers and sisters. We know we are not alone in our sin. The fear and pride that cling to us like barnacles cling to others also. We are sinners together. In acts of mutual confession we release the power that heals. Our humanity is no longer denied, but transformed.”

Now, Foster and I might choose different wording for some of this. Here we are in Christ new creation. The old is gone, it has died. Behold, we are made new and also sin still tries to cling to us. We are being transformed and renewed in our minds, in our hearts, in what we love, in how we live. And that's not just you, that's all of us. As believers, confession opens the door to healing and grace. And so yes, there's nuances to that.

There's nuances to finding people that you can confess to safely. Finding healthy environments to share what you're going through, to receive prayer, to repent, which is simply to think again and choose differently and to confess to another that they would pray for you. Hey, I need to choose again and think differently about how I have been living, about what I have been doing in this area.

But if we think we're alone. If we think that no one else is like this, then we won't confess. Then we won't receive the healing that comes through prayer filled community. And usually that impacts our approach to God directly, too. We don't just hide ourselves from Christian community. We will attempt to hide ourselves from Christ. To withdraw, to ignore, to not respond to his promptings, his loving conviction.

Scripture says that it's his steadfast love that calls us to repentance. But when we're hiding, we're refusing to receive that love in that area. And so let's be bold today. Let's take this topic into conversation with God and see what he would share with each of us.

God, what am I hiding from you and from others and what do you want me to do about it?

Have a good talk.

And if you've been encouraged by this content, please share it with a friend and help them grow in their conversational relationship with God too!

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