Episode #290 The Freedom of Not Explaining Yourself – Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Hey friends, it's Jen. Welcome to this episode where we're talking about silence. And I'm just gonna tell you up front, I'm stepping on some toes today. And I know this because I'm stepping on my own toes first. We're talking about the healing power of silence, because there is a freedom that comes when we can stop defending, explaining, or proving ourselves.
Being misunderstood is a fear that I am constantly having to reject in my life, because when I focus so much on being thought of rightly, being understood well from my good intentions, I throw myself into these spirals that are not peace giving and are not from the Lord. It works against the freedom that God offers me and that he offers you.

I am still talking about Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline because I did not grow up thinking that the disciplines were created as delights for us. But that's actually what God created them to be. There are ways that we can position our hearts and our minds, and our bodies and our souls to receive blessings from the Lord. To take an easier unhurried, grace-filled way, empowered by his spirit.

Foster says, “Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on all self-justification. One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let God be our justifier. We don’t need to straighten others out.”

And he talks about how, “We are in a constant process of adjusting our public image. We fear so deeply what we think other people see in us that we talk in order to straighten out their understanding. If I have done some wrong thing (or even some right thing that I think you may misunderstand) and discover that you know about it, I will be very tempted to help you understand my action!”

Now, I feel very seen by this problem because I do the same thing.

And in Foster's book, he tells the story of a medieval monk who is being unjustly accused of certain offenses. And he says the story tells that, “One day he looked out his window and saw a dog biting and tearing on a rug that had been hung out to dry. As he watched, the Lord spoke to him saying, ‘That is what is happening to your reputation. But if you will trust me, I will care for you—reputation and all.’ Perhaps more than anything else, silence brings us to believe that God can care for us—reputation and all.”

Now that's a word that I often need, and I'm guessing at least some of you need, too. God cares for you, all of you, and that includes your reputation.

And so if you feel like you're being misunderstood or you are being judged, ask God what to do with that. Ask him to guide your steps and ask him to show you how he is your defender. And trust the instruction he gives you, even as he cares for you and your reputation.

I have many of my own excruciating experiences of navigating circumstances like this myself. And coming out the other side, I have been able to see some of the many ways I know God has protected and defended my reputation in ways I couldn't possibly have done on my own.

I wanna read a little bit for us from Exodus 14, and this is when the Israelites are escaping Egypt and they arrive at the Red Sea and they panic because the Egyptians are chasing them. And it says in Exodus 14, verse 10:

“As Pharaoh approached, the people of Israel looked up and panicked when they saw the Egyptians overtaking them. They cried out to the Lord, and they said to Moses, “Why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness? Weren’t there enough graves for us in Egypt? What have you done to us? Why did you make us leave Egypt? Didn’t we tell you this would happen while we were still in Egypt? We said, ‘Leave us alone! Let us be slaves to the Egyptians. It’s better to be a slave in Egypt than a corpse in the wilderness!’”

But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving!”

But in the midst of this, Moses didn't defend himself. When the people were crying out because they were afraid of being overtaken, Moses said, “Hey, God and his reputation are trustworthy and he can take care of this. I know that the enemy's coming against you, but the Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

This reminds me of Lamentations 3:26. It says, “It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

And in Proverbs 10:19, it says, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”

That word holds there, means to restrain, to keep in check. It's not never speak. It's keep your tongue in check. So when you do speak, you're speaking as God would have you speak.

Now I'm stepping on toes here. Because it is easy to jump in to defend ourselves, especially when we're being misunderstood or wrongly accused. And I'm also talking about it here because this is a really practical way that we can walk in our faith with God, trusting his care for us in a different way.

And so here's a question that you can take to him today:

God, what am I trying to justify or explain that I can surrender to you instead?

Have a good talk.

And if you've been encouraged by this content, please share it with a friend and help them grow in their conversational relationship with God too!

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