Episode #265 When Prayer Feels Like Work: Finding Joy in the Conversation – Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Has it ever felt to you like prayer somehow turned into work? Maybe in that particular day, it just feels like your words are hitting the ceiling or like your heart isn't in it. Or maybe you're stressed and you're trying to show God that you really care about something in hopes that he's gonna show up for you. And it starts feeling like work. Like achievement or heavy or even just discouraging, not life giving. Well, if you can relate to that experience, I'm especially glad you're here because that's what we're talking about today.

And I'd encourage you to share this episode with someone else who you think could really benefit from this encouragement because prayer wasn't made to feel like work. Sometimes we pray even when we don't feel like it. That's a healthy discipline. Similar to exercise. It's healthy. It's a good choice. Sometimes we don't feel as much like praying, but we know that that's a good indicator that I really need to connect with God right now. Something's going on with me and even when I don't feel like it, I know this is going to be good for my spirit.

But when that work feeling continues, often that has to do with some sense of performance or discouragement. Like I'm not measuring up to those other prayer warriors, or I'm not spending enough time praying, or I am spending the time, but it's not life giving. I'm trying to show God that I care enough and I'm not sure he's even here with me.

So I encourage you if you can relate to feeling like prayer is work, reflect as we're going through this episode on why. When has it felt like that to you in the past? And what was going on in your mind? Were you praying but you weren't really being honest with God? Were you withholding some things in your heart or your mind 'cause you didn't wanna go there in the conversation? Were you checking off a box of like, I guess I should be praying right now, even though it doesn't seem like it does anything? What was going on? And bring that conversation to God.

I literally will take the moment where I'm like, I don't really wanna pray and I will turn that into a prayer moment with God. Hey, God, I don't really wanna pray right now, and I'm not sure why. Hey God, I don't really wanna pray right now because I'm frustrated, or I'm overwhelmed, or I'm mad at you about this thing and so I'm gonna talk to you about it anyway. Even though I don't feel like it, God, I don't feel like praying right now, please help me understand what's going on with me.

And you're immediately taking that feeling, that sense of resistance of not wanting to engage with God and turning it into a moment of relationship, of connection.
We have an example of people treating prayer like work in scripture and it's Matthew 6:7-8 which says,

"And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." (Matthew 6:7-8)

One of the ways that prayer can feel like work and get kind of performance oriented is in trying to heap up many words or beautiful, eloquent phrases. God doesn't ask that of us. He invites us to come to him, honestly. And relationship is healthy communication and shared experiences. And so when you think about close relationships in your life, they move past like job interview vocabulary.

They move past polished, prepared conversations and talking points. Come to God as you are. You don't need to heap up empty phrases because God doesn't wait for a word count to hear. In fact, he knows what you need before you ask him, and he still wants us to ask because the intent is not to earn his care for us, but it's to receive his care as we come and draw near to him and to partner with him in what he's doing, to share with him the longings of our hearts.

In Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster says "Many of us, however, are discouraged rather than challenged by such examples [of prayer]. But rather than flagellating ourselves for our obvious lack, we should remember that God always meets us where we are and slowly moves us along into deeper things."

If we are trying to move us on into the appearance of deeper things, let God do the work. The more you talk with him, the easier it will become. The more you spend time in his word, the more his word will be hidden in your heart, and it can come out in your prayers. We don't need to perform for God, and that includes flavors and flair that we can find in our local church congregations.

You don't need to pray like anybody else except Jesus, and he teaches us how to pray in scripture. And so let God teach you how to pray and sure learn from mentors and things, but don't let it become a work thing. God's created prayer as a transformative grace, as a gift and an outflowing of our relationship with him.

And so rather than giving us something more to do or an area to grow in or work on or practice differently, I have a fun question that I encourage you to ask God today and truly listen to see what he would want to share with you.
God, what encouragement would you offer me about my prayers right now?

He truly is the God of all encouragement, and I know there's things he wants to share with you.

Have a good talk.

And if you've been encouraged by this content, please share it with a friend and help them grow in their conversational relationship with God too!

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